HONEY HONEY HONEY.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Here are some jokes:

1. Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day, the millionaire decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, "My dear guests, I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars, or my daughter, to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!" As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large splash in the pool. The guy in the pool was swimming with all his might, and the crowd began to cheer him on. Finally, he made it to the other side of the pool unharmed. The millionaire was impressed. He said, "That was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well, I must keep my end of the bargain. Do you want my daughter or the one million dollars?" The guy catches his breath, then says, "Listen, I don't want your money! And I don't want your daughter! I want the asshole who pushed me in the pool!"

2. There were these two guys in a bar, which was on the 20th floor of a building. The first man said " I bet you $100 I can jump out that window and come straight back in!" The second man says "Ok, sure." and the barman holds the bet. The first man jumps out the window and disappears for a second before jumping straight back in. Disappointed about losing the $100, the second man says: " I'll bet you another $100 you can't do it again." So the barman holds the bet. Sure enough, the first man jumps out the window, disappears for a second, then jumps straight back in. Thinking he must have caught a freak gust of wind, the second man says "Ok, I bet you $300 I can jump out the window and come straight back in." The first man says" Ok, sure." The second man jumps out the window and falls to the footpath below. He is dead. Back up in the bar, the barman says to the first man " Gee, you can be a bastard when you're pissed, Superman."

3. A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats everything in sight, the little twerp. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.

While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" "Now what?" asks the patron. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!"

4. A group of girlfriends are on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only". Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside." So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain." They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

With love,

yesterday i went to cathay to watch movie for free.. haha.. my father got 5 free tickets for movie.. we watched 007 Casino Royale..

the james bond like cannot fight one lor.. jumping from crane to crane also like gonna drop down.. mu cousin keep tilling me: "ee.. this james bond so lousy.. cannot even fight.. everytime kena hit." damn funny..

my father was saying that they shouldnt have chosen this new actor to be 007. they should have chosen EDDIE MURPHY for a change.. damn funny.. imagine EDDIE MURPHY = JAMES BOND. haha..

i think 'Pierce Bosnan' can act better.. and he's batter looking than this new 007. haha. XD

love!
ren.

With love,

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

it's sad.. i have no one to talk to on the phone now.. haha.. cherie is in KL, joan is going to gold coast.. haha.. maybe pearlyn is the only one left..

today i'm home with my sister.. boring! wonder if we will end up fighting. but yeaterday was really irritating.. my sister threw a damn controller at my head okay? it's a freaking controller.. she scratched my arm too. damn her.. joan was there to witness it.

too bad.. i managed to get my mum to scold her.. this is only one of the first few times that i managed to get my mum's agreemant that my sis is damn irritating. haha..

i'm longing for this!

i want this camera! it's damn nice! haha..

ren.

With love,

Friday, November 17, 2006

now that i have a new blog, i have to start posting all over again..

i had camp from the 10 to the 13 of november. i didnt get to complete the whold camp.. i came home halfway cos i was sick..

actually, i've got loads to say since i havent posted for quite a while. but i seem to have forgotten.. haha..

toodles!
ren

p.s. congrats to the members of elmo patrol for first place and to big bird patrol for winning second place!

With love,

this is my new url: www.ren-.blogspot.com

With love,